


Remember Our Love

by Seron



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seron/pseuds/Seron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak have been in love and living together for the past five years. When one day, Dean gets into a motorcycle accident and ends up in the hospital. He has amnesia and can't remember Cas, and thinks he's straight. And it's up to Cas to remind him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel panted heavily as he sprinted through the hospital corridors. 

“217, 217, room 217,” he whispered to himself in a silent mantra. “217, 217.”

His dark blue tie swung loosely against his white button down shirt. He heard some woman over the loudspeaker, faint voices from the rooms he passed, and the constant beeping of machines. He hated hospitals, absolutely despised them. Ever since his parents died in a hospital after being in a car accident when he was seventeen, he couldn’t stand to be in them.

He skidded to a halt outside room number 217. Catching his breath, he opened to door to step into the small room. He was immediately greeted with the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on. Castiel breathed a sigh of relief when the man on the bed wasn’t hooked up to any life support machines, just an IV. He pulled a chair over to the bedside and sat. He reached over to take the unconscious man’s hand in his.

The sliver of light from the slightly open door cast a sort of glow over the sleeping man. Cas admired the man’s vast array of freckles scattered over his tanned nose. His lips were perfect, and parted slightly when he breathed out. Glancing upward, he took notice of his light brown hair beneath a bright white bandage around his head.

His heart bursting with love and relief, Cas leaned down to lightly brush his lips against the hand that he held. As soon as he did, he was rewarded with opening eyes. They were the most mesmerizing thing about this man. They were a bright green and framed with thick lashes. Unable to resist, Castiel leaned down to lightly kiss the other man; soft, warm lips met dry ones.  
**********************************************************************************************************************  
Opening his eyes, Dean looked around him. He noticed plain white walls and curtains. He looked down to see an IV running from his arm to something hanging above his head. He had barely realized that he was in a hospital before he felt soft lips on his. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but the feeling of lips moving against his made something flutter in his stomach. 

After about two seconds too long, Dean opened his eyes to see a man with dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes lean away after placing a brief kiss on his nose.

“Dude! What the fuck?!?!” Dean practically yelled as he pushed the man off of him. “Who the hell are you and why are you kissing me? That’s sick man.”

“I…I’m Castiel, Dean. You know, Cas?” Cas stared at him, a hurt look on his face.

“Well, Cas, where do you get off thinking it’s okay to go off kissing strange guys?”

“I wasn’t kissing a strange man; I was kissing my boyfriend of five years.” Cas replied, squeezing Dean’s hand.

Dean pulled his hand free before sitting up in his bed. “Uhh, look, man. I hate to burst your bubbles, but I’m straight. Now, can you tell me what happened? Why am I in a hospital with a massive headache?”

Dean could swear there were tears in those striking blue eyes. “You…you were in a motorcycle accident.” A small chuckled escaped his throat. “I always told you riding that this was dangerous, but you never listen to me. I was at work when the hospital called me. They said I was your emergency contact.”

“Why the hell would I have you as an emergency contact? I don’t even know you.”

Luckily, it was at that moment when a woman with wavy brown hair and a long white coat entered the room. 

“Hey, Dean. I’m Dr. Masters. How’s your head feeling?”

“I have a bit of a headache.”

Dr. Masters came over to check his IV then to peek under the bandage around his head. “Well, that’s to be expected. You were very lucky to just walk away with a few scrapes and bruises. You did cut your head, but we gave you a couple stitches. You must be…..?” She glanced over at Cas.

Cas leaned forward to shake the doctor’s hand. “I’m Castiel Novak, Dean is my boyfriend.”

“No, no, no.” Dean blurt out. “He’s not my boyfriend. I have no idea who he is. I just woke up and he was here being creepy.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.” Doctor Masters said, beginning to unravel the bandage around Dean’s head. “Now, Dean, you don’t remember Castiel?”

“No, I don’t! That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” Dean yelled.

“Hmmm, well this looks just like a case of temporary amnesia.”

“Amnesia?” Cas repeated, looking like he was the one conked over the head.

“Yes, it doesn’t seem to be too serious. He still knows who he is, so it’s likely that his memory will return. The best thing to do is just talk him home and help him back into his everyday life. Live life like you normally would; any little thing could trigger his memory.” 

“Does no one understand the fact that I am straight? Dean uttered. 

Dr. Master began marking on his chart before answering. “Just go home, and try to do everything normally. Your memory should return soon.”

“Should?” Dean and Cas said in unison.  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
It was the next evening that Castiel was unlocking the door to their studio apartment. He walked in, followed by a reluctant Dean.

“Anything?” Cas asked.

Dean glanced around. The front door led into the living room. To the left was a small bar separating the living room from the kitchen. In the far corner was an open door though which he saw the bathroom. And against the far wall was a small raised platform with the bedroom and a window that covered most of the wall.

It was a beautiful apartment, but it didn’t look familiar. If it wasn’t for his possessions scattered around, he wouldn’t believe he lived here. 

“No, I recognize some of my stuff, but other than that…nothing.”

Cas closed and locked the door behind them.

“Okay, well, the doctor said to just go back to your normal routine. We’ve been dating for five years, and living here for three. You work at Bobby’s garage Tuesday through Saturday—“

“Bobby’s,” Dean interrupted. “I still work at that dump?”

“Well, not exactly.” Cas moved into the kitchen to get Dean a beer from the fridge. “You own the place now. You partnered up with Bobby a few years ago and really got the business going again. It’s not really a normal mechanic’s anymore….you’re mainly into restoration.”

“Restoration?” Dean, grateful for the drink. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Castiel nodded. “Anyway…I have work in the morning, so…um…” He gestured toward the bedroom.

“Oh,” Dean panicked for a moment. “I’ll just sleep on the couch, I suppose?”

“Well, the doctor said to live life like you normally do, so we can get your memory to come back. I think it’s best if you just come to bed…….I’ll keep my distance, I swear.”

Dean nodded, following Cas.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean awoke to the morning light streaming into the large window. Sighing, he closed his eyes once more and snuggled further into the soft bed. He was so warm and comfortable, that moving was the last thing on his mind. Turning over, he wrapped his arm around the body that was asleep next to him. He buried his face in the sweet smelling hair and tightened his grip.

He was woken up fully when an alarm went off near the other side of the bed. Looking down at the dark-haired man under his arm, he leaped up and off the bed. Trying to catch his breath, he was very aware of the prominent boner currently making a tent in his boxers.  
**************************************************************************************************************  
Castiel woke up to the familiar feeling of a warm body hugging him from behind. That good feeling ended abruptly when his alarm went off and Dean leaped away so fast it was like he was on fire.

Chuckling, Cas sat up and turned to his boyfriend. “Really, you spoon me and end up with a nice morning hard-on and are still trying to convince yourself that you’re straight?”

“I….I….I didn’t know it was you. I was mostly asleep and assumed you were a girl from a one night stand or something.”

“Uh, huh, sure. Well, I have to go to work.” Cas stood up and made his way over to the kitchen, yelling behind him. “I’m gonna start some coffee. If you wanted to shower, go ahead. Hey…maybe if you scrub hard enough, you can wash the gay off.”

Dean rolled his eyes as Castiel giggled at his own joke. Walking into the small bathroom, he started the shower. Stepping under the hot water, he groaned as his muscles relaxed beneath the steamy water.

Eyes closed, it took him a moment to notice the strong arms snaking around his waist from behind. It wasn’t until a chin was rested on his shoulder that Dean turned around, reaching for the shower curtain. Covering himself as best as he could, Dean turned on Cas.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Well, I assumed I was taking a shower,” responded Cas, reaching for the shampoo. “You were taking a century, so I just hopped in.”

“You can’t just do that. I’m…I’m naked…..and wet.” Dean stumbled out, groping for a towel.

“Yes….I realize you are naked and wet. But, trust me. You don’t have anything that I’ve never seen before.”

Dean mumbled under his breath as he went in search of clean clothes. After being unable to find the closet, he poked his head in the bathroom.

“Hey, is there a closet somewhere, or do we just make it a habit to run around naked?

A deep chuckle reverberated through the bathroom. “Well, we do make it a habit of being naked as often as possible. But, on the off chance that we want to go out in public, the wardrobe is against the far wall.”

Dean glanced around before noticing the large, wooden structure. “A wardrobe? Are you fucking kidding me?” He opened one of the doors to be greeted by a full-length mirror. “If I get sucked into Narnia, send a search party,” he yelled behind him as he began to sift through some of the clothes before him.  
************************************************************************************************************************  
Castiel emerged a few minutes later, sporting his usual white button down and dark blue tie. He smiled at the ACDC t-shirt Dean was wearing.

“You know, I always did love it when you wore my clothes.” Cas grinned around his cup of coffee.

He was rewarded with a slightly panicked look from his boyfriend. “What! I just assumed it was mine…I mean, ACDC? Why the hell is this t-shirt yours?”

“You got if for me a couple birthdays ago. Anyway, I better get going. Mondays are your day off, and you usually stay here….doing who knows what.”

“Oh, alright.” Dean stood near the kitchen, looking as awkward as he possibly could. “Maybe, I can look around. See is anything will trigger my memory?”

“Sounds great, Dean. You have my numbers saved in your phone, so just call me if you need anything.”  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
Dean locked the door behind Cas. He stood, looking around the loft, trying to force any spark of a memory of this place. Was he happy here? He assumed so. Cas seemed like a good guy; he just couldn’t figure out how they had started dating. Last thing Dean remembered, he was a lady’s man, working at the garage part-time.

He spent most of the morning snooping through the apartment. In the first hour, he found a scrapbook full of picture of him and Cas. It showed their relationship through the years. How they traveled the world together. They had pictures of them in front of the pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, the great wall of China, and Big Ben.

It was late afternoon when he was searching through their DVD collection, and happened upon a homemade DVD in an unmarked box. Curiosity overwhelmed him and he put it in. The video was at Sammy’s apartment. There was some kind of party going on. Dean’s brother, Sam, was there along with his slutty girlfriend, Ruby. So was Bobby, Cas, him, and some other people he didn’t recognize.

After a minute of watching, Dean found out this video was filmed only a few months ago at Cas’s birthday party. He watched him blow out some candles and open some presents, the usual stuff. The last present he was given was a small box. When he opened it, he froze in shock. Someone was blocking part of the camera, so Dean couldn’t see what was inside the box.

It wasn’t until Dean saw himself come around the table and get down on one knee that he realized what must have happened. Dean sat on the floor in front of the TV, hugging his knees to himself.

“Cas, we’ve been together for four years now. You’re the love of my life and I never want to be apart from you. Will you marry me?” It seemed strange, watching himself sound so in love when he couldn’t even remember the man he was purposing to.

Dean didn’t know how long he sat there staring at the TV after the screen went dark. But after a while, he felt an arm around his shoulder as Cas sat down next to him.

“Why did you call me your boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me we’re engaged?”

Cas sighed. “I didn’t want to push you. But now you know. See, you proposed to me. That’s got to be some kind of proof that you loved me once, right?”

“I don’t know, Cas.” Dean stood. “I need a drink. Any good bars around here?”

A smile etched itself onto Cas face. Dean liked the way it made his eyes crinkle. “Ya, there’s one just down the block. I’ll get my keys.”


	3. Chapter 3

The bar was crowded when they walked inside. They found a small table near the back and sat down. When Dean had a whiskey shot and half a beer in him, he felt much better.

“So….you gonna tell me how we met?” 

Cas sighed, playing with the straw in his drink. “I was on my way home from work when my car broke down. It was dark, and raining; I called for a tow. You came, and drove me to Bobby’s. We talked the whole way.”

“That still doesn’t explain how I turned from Dean Winchester, lady’s man, to some dude’s gay boyfriend.”

“Well, I had a crush on you from the start. When you told me you were into restoration, I made you an offer you couldn’t refuse.” Cas chuckled.

“What, you blackmailed me into going out with you?” Dean smiled across the table.

“No, when my parents died, they left me an old 1967 Chevy Impala. It was rusty and falling apart. I never wanted the old thing. So, I promised that if you could make her work, you could keep her.”

The shock Dean felt rooted him to the spot. “You….you gave me a car?”

“I was going to give it to a salvage yard, but you told me you liked old cars. Seeing you happy was worth it.”

Dean looked down at the table, a tinge of pink in his cheeks. “Well, how’d it go? Did I ever finish?”

“Ya, she was your pet project for a couple years. Now she’s safe back at home in the parking garage. She turned out beautiful. Black and shiny with leather seats. She’s your baby.”

Dean could almost see what his car looked like. He couldn’t believe he had his dream car. And it was Cas that had given her to him.

“Anyway, it was a few months of flirting before you got up the nerve to do anything about it.”

“I was the one to ask you out?” Dean questioned.

“Well, not exactly. There was this one day that we were just talking and you kind of attacked me.”

“I’m sorry, I what?!” 

“You just grabbed me, pinned me to the wall, and jammed your tongue down my throat.” Cas said with a nostalgic look in his eyes. “And that was our first date.”

“I put out on the first date?” Dean looked scandalized.

“Hey, who’s complaining?” replied Castiel with a low chuckle.

Dean cleared his throat, looking around the bar. “Anyway, um, I found a scrapbook today. It was full of pictures of us.”

“Yes, we like to travel. Our first trip was six months after we started dating. We went to Egypt and Morocco. Then, a year after that we went backpacking through Europe. We visited every country over two months.”

“Holy shit. We seriously went on vacation for two months? I had never even left the country before. I don’t even have a passport.”

“You have a passport now. And it has over fifty stamps in it. And a last year, we went to China. It was your idea. You wanted to see the great wall, and the terra cotta soldiers. But, you were most excited about panda bears.”

“My idea? My idea of a vacation is a two hour drive to white castle.”

“Then you don’t know yourself very well. We had plans to go to Central America next spring. We were going to go to spend some time in Mexico, Costa Rica, and Peru. You told me you wanted to see Machu Picchu.” 

“Machu Picchu? Isn’t it that abandoned city? Why the hell would I want to see that?”

“You watched a special on it one day.” Cas went back to playing with his straw. Dean watched his hands. They were beautiful hands with long fingers. On his left ring finger was a thin silver ring surrounded with sapphires. As Dean watched his hands move, the ring glittered in the dim bar light. The sapphires, he noticed, matched Cas’s eyes perfectly.

“So, that ring….um…..that’s the one…..that I…..um….” Dean muttered.

Castiel looked down at it. “Yes, this is the ring you proposed to me with. You told me that you got it at an antique store. I really love it. I haven’t taken it off since the day you asked me to marry you.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. Cas looked so hurt; he didn’t how to make him feel any better. He was looking for the right thing to say when Castiel beat him to it. “It’s getting loud in here, do you wanna head back?”

“Ya, sounds good.” Dean stood and led Cas to the door. The sun was just setting and the street outside was cast in shadow. After a couple minutes of silence, it was Castiel that broke it.

“So….do you remember anything yet? Any little memory?”

Dean glanced at the ground as he walked. “No, I’m sorry. And you seem like a great guy, Cas; but I still like women.”

“Really?” said Cas with a mischievous grin. Before Dean knew what was happening, he was being pushed down an alley and shoved against a brick wall.

“What the hell, Cas?!” yelled Dean.

“Shhh, I’m proving something to you. I’m telling you another memory.”

“Why does this memory involve being manhandled?”

Cas chuckled. “I’m going to tell you about the day you finished the impala. It was pretty late, everyone else at the garage had gone home hours ago. You called me and told me to hurry over.”

Castiel held onto the collar of Dean’s shirt with one hand and his hip with the other. “I walked in to see the impala, shiny and finished. I’d never seen you so happy. You were covered in oil, but you had this big doofy grin on your face. You showed me your finished baby, the new seats, the chrome bumper, even your box of cassette tapes.”

“Do you know what happened next?”

Dean stared at Cas, his eyes wide as he shook his head no.

Castiel leaned in to brush his lips against Dean’s ear. “You picked me up and put me on the hood of your new car. You undressed us slowly, relishing in the feeling you had. You followed every movement of your hands with your lips and tongue. As you crushed your mouth to mine, your hips rutted against mine, trying desperately to find some friction.”

Dean’s mouth suddenly went dry.

“You know what happened then?” Cas leaned back to switch to Dean’s other ear. “You moved down to put my hard cock in your mouth. You sucked me off right there on the hood of the impala. You had to turn up your Metallica tape just to make sure no one heard my moans.”

Dean’s jeans began to feel very tight as Cas move his hand to the side of his head. His lips barley an inch away from Dean’s.

“Then, you brought my legs up over your shoulders and fucked me. The entire car shook with the force. We kept sliding over the fresh wax job, but neither of us cared.”

Dean’s breath was becoming heavier as he moved his hips. His dick was hardened painfully. Whenever he moved a certain way, he would rub against a crease in his jeans and feel a little relief.

He felt Cas’s hand leave his hip and move down to cup him through his jeans. Dean groaned at the feeling. Cas leaned forward to run his tongue along the other man’s bottom lip.

“So…you were saying something about being straight?” Cas smiled before backing away and heading toward the direction of their apartment, leaving Dean with an open mouth and a serious case of blue balls.


	4. Chapter 4

The following morning, Dean was very careful to lock the bathroom door before showering, lest he get another surprise attack by one Castiel Novak. Once squeaky clean, he made his way into their small kitchen where Castiel was leaning against the bar nursing a cup of coffee. 

“So, umm….” Dean muttered, trying not to think about last night. “What should I be doing today? You have work, I assume?”

“Yes, I do….as do you. I think its best that you go to the garage today. Like the doctor said, normal routine and all.” Cas glanced up at Dean, a smug look on his face.  
Dean must have looked increasingly uncomfortable, because Cas just laughed and tossed him a set of keys.

“What are these for?”

“They’re the keys to your car……the impala?” Cas look amused by the shocked expression on his boyfriend’s face as he made his way over to him.

“Have a nice day, dear.” Cas said before placing a kiss on Dean’s cheek. Laughing at Dean’s discomfort, he left him alone in the apartment.

“Work...right.” Dean mumbled to himself. Grabbing his coat, he left in search of the parking garage. Luckily, there were clearly marked signs with handy arrows that assisted him in his quest. 

The garage was a large cement cavern that made his footsteps echo. After looking around him, Dean spotted her. She was black, shiny, and absolutely perfect. His impala….his dream car. He ran his hand over her smooth surface, his mind going nowhere near what Castiel explained to him last night…..in great detail. Of course it wasn’t, why would he be thinking of that?

“I’m not gay!!!” he practically shouted, earning a strange look from a middle aged woman near the other end of the garage. He really had to stop thinking about last night.

Getting into the car…..his car, apparently; he started her up, nearly groaning at the sound she made beneath him.  
************************************************************************************************************************  
About twenty minutes later, Dean pulled up to the garage. He was amazed at how good it looked. Last time he saw it, it looked like the place was falling down while Bobby was barley about to make rent. But, now, the place looked great. Cas was right, it really looked like they were doing okay.

Walking in was a new experience. He was used to seeing just your average cars sitting around getting brakes fixed or tires rotated. Now, he saw a pale blue 1970 Dodge dart raised up on a hydraulic jack next to a 1963 Buick Electra in the middle of a paint job. It was like he was dreaming; and it was hard to believe that it was all real.

A grin slowly spread itself across Dean’s face as Bobby came around the corner. “Hey, boy. How’s your head? Sam called me and told me about your accident.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bobby. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You apparently can’t remember your boyfriend…not to mention you wrecked your new motorcycle, you idjit.”

“How could you possibly yell at me for something I don’t remember doing?”

“Easy, like this.” Bobby swung his hand, smacking Dean on the back of his head.

“Hey! What the hell, Bobby? I’ve got head trauma, remember?” complained Dean.

“You must have head trauma to be stupid enough to not wear a helmet.”

“Fine, fine, I give……..so, you gonna fill me in on how this place went from a nearly bankrupt garage to renovating classic cars?”

“Well, it was actually Castiel. After you finished the impala, he spread the word on the good job that you did. After that, you had investors lined up along with a list of potential customers. You and me partner up, and we fixed the place up nice.”

“Oh…” Why was it that Cas seemed to be behind everything? “So….what is it I usually do?”

“Well, a few days ago, you were working on that Dart over there. But, today, I want you go see your damn brother. He’s been worried about you. Castiel convinced him not to come see you yet, that it might be too much for you to take all at once.”

“I’m fine to work; I could……” he was silenced by a stern look from Bobby. “Fine, I’ll go see him.”  
***************************************************************************************************************************  
It was an hour later that Dean was sitting in a booth in a nearby diner. After being nearly crushed to death by his gigantor brother, they sat in the shiny, red seats.

“So, you’re alright, then? I was going to come to the hospital, but your fiancé convinced me that it might be too much too soon.”

“I’m fine, and he’s not my fiancé.”

“He is, Dean. You just need to let yourself remember.”

Luckily the waitress show up before the conversation got too awkward. 

“Great, I’m starving.” Dean said as he glanced down at the grease-stained menu in his hands. “I’ll have the double cheeseburger with everything on it, bacon cheese fries. And for dessert, I’ll have the apple pie a la mode.”

“I’ll have the cesar salad with dressing on the side, please.”

“Why the hell do you still eat like a rabbit? It’s unnatural.” Dean grimaced at his brother.

“My body’s a temple, Dean.”

“Well, so is mine. And my temple likes pie.”

Once they received their food, they ate in silence for a few minutes. Dean was famished. He had hardly eaten anything in the last few days. While shoving handfuls of fries into his mouth, he glanced up at his brother. He noticed a thick silver ring on his left hand.

“Sammy, were you going to tell me that you’re married?”

Sam froze with a fork halfway to his mouth. “Well, um….I was going to, but I was worried that you wouldn’t take it well.”

“Take it well? Maybe instead of being so worried about my mental state, you should trust me enough to tell me the truth. I think I deserve that much.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Sam was looking down at his plate, refusing to meet his brother’s eyes.

“So….who’s the lucky girl?” Dean sighed.

Sam face lit up. “It’s Ruby. You know her. We went to high school together, and we met up a few years ago. One thing led to another and we fell in love.”

“Ruby? As in world’s biggest slutbag, Ruby?” You married high school’s biggest bitch?”

“Dean! She was never as bad as you’re making her out to be. She happens to be a very wonderful woman…not to mention the love of my life. I would really appreciate it if you would give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Fine, fine……so, when do I get to meet Mrs. Winchester?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the hiatus. This chapter is for Addy, my muse and my bitch.

It was the following evening that Dean found himself facing the awkward situation of having to be nice to Sam’s new wife. Cas took it upon himself to invite the happy couple over for pizza and a movie.

After being nearly smushed to death by his gigantor of a little brother, he turned to the tiny brunette at his side.

“Hey, Ruby. Haven’t seen you since senior year when you were caught making out with the Algebra teacher in the girl’s locker room. Hmmmm….fun times, huh?”

He was rewarded with a fake smile from Ruby and the world’s biggest bitch face from Sam. “Ya, Dean, that’s true. But, as I recall that same month, you were known as the school’s biggest womanizer. I’ve moved past it, have you?”

“That’s different. I didn’t go and shack up with any of your siblings afterward, now did I?”

“Dean!” Oh wow, magical talking moose! “Like I said, we are in love and very happy. We are married and staying that way. Now, would you please drop just it and stop being an ass in front of my wife.”

Dean put on a fake smile and gritted his teeth. “Fine, I can be civil…..as long as she does.”

Before Sam could make a clever retort, Cas chose that moment to arrive with the pizza. Sensing the tension in the room, he decided it was best to quickly change the subject.

“So, the movies in. Shall we?” He set the pizza and a six pack on the coffee table before taking a seat in the middle of the couch. With Dean on his left and Sam and Ruby on his right, he was able to be a sort of buffer.

Dean tried to pay attention to the movie, but he just couldn’t concentrate. After he had stopped fuming over the fact that Ruby was in his apartment, all he could focus on was the fact that Cas was sitting very close to him. They were all a little squished on the couch, so they were pressed right up next to each other. It felt as if little bits of electricity were running between them.

Every once in a while, Cas’s hand would brush lightly along Dean’s. Whenever this would happen, Dean’s breath would hitch as he tried to ignore it. But, when the movie was over, he realized he barely noticed what it was about.

As the credits rolled, Ruby nudged a sleeping Sam awake and pulled him off the couch. “Well, this has been fun, but I better get this guy home to bed.”

Sam muttered something along the lines of “I’m not tired” before Ruby rolled her eyes.

“Well, goodnight then.” Cas said before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Dean followed them as Cas held the door open for them.

“Night, whore.” Dean hissed after them.

“Goodnight, asshole,” she responded before dragging her half asleep husband out into the hallway.

After closing their front door, Cas turned around. “You know, you really should be nicer to her. She’s a great girl, and she makes Sam happy.”

“You don’t have to tell me about Sam. He was happy before her,” Dean fumed.

“But, he’s happier now. You just don’t understand.”

“Understand what! My own brother?”

“No,” Castiel moved to clean the empty bottles and pizza boxes off the coffee table. “You don’t understand how someone can change for a person they love. Ruby may have been known for sleeping around, but then she fell for Sam. After that, she didn’t need anyone else.”

Dean froze behind Cas as he straightened the couch cushions. “You know, you used to sleep around with any woman who would take you. But then we met. I once asked you what was so different about me. You told me that when you love someone, everyone else just becomes a big blur. You told me that I was crystal clear and nothing else mattered as long as we were together.”

When Cas turned around, Dean noticed he had this sad, faraway look in his eyes. Before he could make a retort, the blue-eyed man came crashing into him. He was kissed so forcefully that their teeth gnashed together. He felt one hand on his shoulder and the other on the side of his face.

It seemed his eyes closed of their own accord as his hands made their way to Cas’s waist. He should stop this, this was wrong on so many levels. But all that he managed to do was hold Cas tighter. 

*******************************************************************************

They somehow ended up falling onto the couch, the dark haired man on top of Dean. Their tongues clashed in a battle for dominance. 

Cas leaned back off of Dean, smiling at the ruffled look of his fiancé. He reached down and tugged on the bottom on Dean’s t-shirt. Getting the hint, he lifted up to help Cas lift it over his head.

He leaned down to begin nipping his way over Dean’s neck, sucking on the delicate skin. He felt vibrations under his lips as the other man groaned from his hot gay skills. He felt rough fingers at the collar of his shirt. Air hit his warm chest as Dean moved down, slowly unbuttoning on his way. Once all the buttons were undone, he felt hands run over his chest and shoulders under his shirt.

His skin was so heated, as he ground their hips together. He felt how hard Dean was in his jeans. He let out a groan before moving back up to the other man’s lips.

Reaching down, Cas began yanking at Dean’s belt. He leaned back to more easily remove Dean of his cumbersome pants when green eyes quickly opened and widened in shock. Dean scrambled out from under him and onto his feet. He stood in front of him as Cas moved to sit up straight. Dean looked sexy as hell with his hair ruffled and his lips swollen from their intense make out session. He had little marks all along his neck and collar bone.

“I……I’m sorry.” Was all Dean said before running off. He grabbed his keys and slammed the front door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

Not paying much attention to speed limit signs, Dean raced down various roads trying to get himself as far away from Cas as humanly possible. He found himself at some strip club about half an hour away from his apartment. 

He made his way to a small table right in front of the stage. He really needed to distract himself from thoughts of those blue eyes and soft lips. He ordered himself a beer as he watched the dancers. He would concentrate on them as they moved. Women, he was attracted to women and only women. There was no way he was attracted to Cas.

Four hours and countless beers later, Dean was sitting watch this redhead in a nurse’s uniform danced around the pole on the stage. His vision was slightly blurry and he had a bit of a headache. The music ended and she walked off stage as another woman came on. She had black hair and was wearing black lace lingerie and thigh-high stockings.

Dean focused on the stripper through the haze of alcohol in his brain. He had always loved lingerie on a woman. Much of the time, he found it sexier than a naked woman. He wondered how Cas would look in it. He imagined what he would look like wearing the black lingerie the stripper was wearing. The black lace panties that showed off his cute little ass. Then those stockings. Oh, god, that was a tempting picture.

His eyes widening in shock, Dean jumped up from his seat, the table shaking from the force. No no no no no no no no no, there was no way in hell that he was thinking about Cas in lingerie. This place definitely wasn’t helping the situation.

He was in the parking lot before he realized that he wasn’t fit to drive. Shit, Dean pulled out his phone, calling Sammy. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. Cursing, he tried Bobby. Luckily he answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Bobby its Dean. I need some help.”

“What’d you do now, boy?”

“I just need a ride. I’ve had a few beers………okay a lot of beers. Could you just come pick me up?”

“Where’s Cas?”

“I don’t know, probably back home.”

“Well, then, call him to come pick up your sorry ass.”

“Why can’t you just do it?”

“You two need to work out whatever is going on between you. Now, quit being a moron and just call him.”

Bobby hung up on him. Grumbling, Dean called Cas.

“Hello?”

“Um, hey, Cas. If you’re not busy, could you come pick me up.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’ve just had a couple drinks is all, and Bobby won’t come get me.”

“Oh, you called Bobby before calling me?” Dean could hear the hurt in his voice.

“Well, ya. Look, can you come get me or not? If not, I can just take the bus or something.”

“No, it’s fine. Where are you?”

Ten minutes later, Cas pulled into the parking lot. Getting out, he made his way over to Dean by the impala.

“I guess, we’ll just leave it here, and we can come get it in the morning. It should be fine.”

Dean just nodded, looking down at his feet. It looked like he was trying very hard not to look Cas in the eye.

“Alright, then, you ready to go?”

Dean looked up, seeing something behind Cas’s back, his eyes widened in shock. Before either of them could make a move, Cas felt a knife pressed against his throat. There was a man behind him, taller than he was, with one arm wrapped tightly around his waist, pinning his left arm to his side. The other held the knife.

“Wallets and any other valuables you have on you. Make a move and I swear I’ll slit his goddamn throat.”

Dean put his hands up in front of him and took a step. Castiel felt the cold blade dig into the soft skin. Sucking in a breath, he cringed back. 

“Don’t fucking move! Now give me your fucking wallet!”

Hands shaking, Dean reached behind him and pulled his wallet from the back of his jeans. After hanging it to the man, Cas felt the knife leave his throat. He turned to see the man sprinting away down the road. He had just turned back around when Dean crashed into him.

Frozen in shock, Cas just stood there as Dean hugged him. After what seemed like an eternity, Dean leaned back. For a moment, Cas swore he saw a glistening dampness in them.

“What was that for?”

“Sorry, I…” Dean looked back down at his feet. “I was scared. I thought for a moment that he might hurt you.”

“I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“I’m good. Let’s go home, okay?”

“Alright, let’s go home.” Cas smiled before they made their way to the car.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas kept glancing over at Dean through the drive home. He was silent and just kept looking out the window.

They made their way into the apartment, a welcome sight after the dark streets. Dean was still silent as he closed the door behind him. Passing Cas he made his way over to the bed, kicking his shoes off on the way. Castiel took his off and placed them on the floor of the wardrobe, before following Dean to bed.

Dean stripped down to just his boxers and t-shirt before turning down the blanket. He started to toss the small decorative pillows across the room.

“Why do you always have to have so many goddamn pillows on this bed!? We both only ever use one at a time, so why do we fucking have them!?”

“Dean, are you alright?” Cas stripped down as well before sitting down on the bed.

The green-eyed man crawled onto the bed, sitting on his knees. “Cas, why do you love me so much?”

Castiel crawled over to sit in front of his fiancé. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m a womanizing, sarcastic, asshole with a bit of a drinking problem. So, how come you stayed this long?”

“Dean, you are a sarcastic asshole, and I love that about you. You’re not a womanizer anymore and you hardly ever drink this much. I love you because you’re the last person I want to talk to before going to bed at night and the first face I want to see in the morning. You’re my best friend.”

Dean froze, trying to grasp what the man in front of him was saying. His breathing heavy, he tried to think through the cloud of alcohol on his brain. Glancing in front of him, he noticed that Castiel was shirtless. When he was covered in his usual suit and coat, he looked pale and thin. But, seeing him sitting on the bed like this, he knew that wasn't right. He had lean but hard muscles like a swimmer. And he was pale, but a soft pale like silk.

Before he knew what he was doing, Dean lurched forward, grabbing the other man by the shoulders, crashing their lips together. Cas was frozen underneath him and Dean ran his tongue over the man’s lips in an attempt to gain a response. He was successful when Castiel suddenly grabbed onto his hips and pushed him back onto the bed.

Groaning, Dean pulled Cas down over him as he hooked a leg around the other man’s hip. As their tongues battled for dominance, their hips began to grind together.

Dean felt soft hands creep under his shirt and skated over his stomach. Cas leaned back to help Dean pull his t-shirt over his head before tossing it across the room. Feeling his boxers becoming tighter, Dean flipped them both over. After sitting up and straddling Cas’s thighs, he looked down at the man beneath him. Cas’s hair was ruffled and sticking up in all directions, and his lips wear pink and swollen. He looked positively sinful this way.

Dean leaned down to suck a mark onto the other man’s neck. Licking a way down Cas’s chest and toward his lean stomach he felt a vibration under his lips as Cas let out a deep moan. Unable to help himself, he slipped his fingers under the waistband of Cas’s boxers and slipped them down his legs. His hard cock sprang free and came to rest on his stomach. 

He kissed his way up Cas’s thighs before running his tongue along the juncture between his hips and thighs. He smiled as he felt a hand grip his hair. Taking Cas’s dick in his hand, Dean licked the head of it, tasting precum beading at the top. Cas groaned as he tightened his grip on Dean’s hair. Dean sucked the head into his mouth before bobbing his head down slowly taking all of it into his mouth. He moaned as Cas pulled hard on his hair.

He bobbed his head faster as he sucked. He felt Cas stiffen suddenly and Dean quickly pulled away.

“Dean, why’d you stop?” Cas looked down at him, an adorable pout on his face.

“I just didn’t want you coming so soon.” Dean smirked down at him. “So, where do we keep the lube?”

“In the night stand.”

Dean leaned over to pull the bottle out before flipping the cap open. Pouring some into his hand, he moved down to slowly circle Cas’s hole with his fingers. Cas arched up and one of Dean’s fingers breached his hole. Cas squirmed under him as he added a second finger. Dean moved his fingers in and out of him, stretching the tight muscle. After adding another finger, Cas kicked him off and flipped them over again.

Before Dean could voice his annoyance, Cas, leaned down to capture him in a rough kiss before leaning back up. Tugging Dean’s boxers off, ripping them in the process, he positioned himself over the squirming man beneath him. He slowly lowered himself over Dean’s throbbing cock. He moaned deep in his chest as he impaled himself, sheathing Dean in his tight heat.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean hissed as Cas began to set a furious pace, reaching forward to grip the headboard. Dean reached forward to grip the other man’s hips tightly, meeting him at every thrust. Dean reached forward to grip Cas’s hard cock in his hand, matching the furious pace he was moving at. Their sweat covered skin against sweat covered skin made obscene noises as they rocked the bed into the wall with every thrust.

“God! Oh, God, Dean!” Cas screamed before he came hard over Dean stomach. Dean, feeling Cas tighten around him followed right after, still moving through both their orgasms. 

Cas reached over to the night stand and grabbed a handful of tissues to clean them up. Dean crawled under the blanket, facing away from Cas. After Cas got up to turn off the lights, he crawled in behind Dean and wrapped an arm around his waist. Dean feigned sleep as he thought about what just happened between them. He knew it was an impulsive mistake, but what would he tell Cas in the morning?


	8. Chapter 8

When Castiel woke the next morning, he groped at the bed next to him too find it cold and empty. Hearing a sound behind him, he turned to see Dean rifling through the wardrobe. He had a moment of confusion before noticing the duffel-bag open at the foot of the bed.

“Going somewhere?” His voice was still heavy with sleep.

The question made Dean jump, hitting his head in the process. Cursing, he turned to look at Cas.

“Look, Cas, buddy, I was really drunk last night. And I’m sorry, but it was a mistake.”

“Mistake?” Replied Cas with a crack of hurt in his voice. “We made love just like nothing had happened, and you’re telling me it was a mistake?”

“Made love? Cas, I was drunk and we fucked. There was no ‘making love’.” Shoving some clothes into his bag, Dean sighed, then looked up at Cas. “Look, I’m sorry. I just think it’s best if I don’t stay here anymore.”

“What do you mean? The doctor said it was in your best interests to live life as normally as possible so your memory could return.” Cas crawled his way to the edge of the large bed and stood. He tried not to feel hurt and Dean averted his eyes while he put on a pair of boxers. “Dean, how do you expect to remember anything if you leave?”

“I don’t think you understand. I don’t care about my memory returning.” Dean looked down and Castiel’s eyes widened in shock. “I’m fine with who I am now. I have a great job and a fantastic family. And, I don’t need you.”

If he listened hard enough, he could almost hear Castiel’s heart break into a thousand pieces. Dean regretted his words almost as soon as they left his mouth, but it was too late. He could hear Castiel hastily putting on some clothes. He couldn’t look up, it would kill him to see the tears streaming down his fiancé’s face. So, he looked down at his bag while Cas grabbed his keys and walked out the front door, and out of his life.

Dean waited until he heard the door slam shut before he let his own tears fall. He really needed his brother right now. Quickly finding his cell phone, he hastily made the call. Luckily, he picked up on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Sammy.”

“Dean? What’s wrong, you sound terrible. Are you crying?”

“Sam, I screwed up, big time.”

“Oh, God, Dean. What did you do?”

“I hurt Cas. I told him it was all a mistake, that I didn’t want to remember, and that I was leaving…….he’s gone, Sam. He left me.”

“Jesus, what the hell did you do that for? The two of you are in love. All you had to do was try, Dean. The doctor said your memory would come back eventually.”

“But, what if it doesn’t? You saw how much me not remembering was hurting Cas. I can’t do that to him forever. It was hurting him too much.”

“Is that was this is about? You hurt him so he’d leave you?” God, Dean, what the hell his wrong with you? He doesn’t care if you don’t remember, I don’t care, Bobby doesn’t care. All we care about is that you’re happy. And Cas makes you happy. You love him, I know you do.”

“Sammy, what do I do?”

“Go after him you big jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Dean smiled and dropped his phone to the ground. Not even bothering with shoes, he ran out the door and to the end of the hall. He pushed the button for the elevator, but it was taking too long. Turning to his right, he ran down the stairs as fast as his legs would take him.

When he reached the parking garage, he took a moment to catch his breath as he scanned the parking lot for Castiel. He should be long gone by now, but Dean had angels watching over him. Cas was sitting in his car, with a frustrated look on his face. Every time he tried to turn it on, the engine would just make a whining noise then stop.

Dean grinned as he walked over to his fiancé. He rapped his knuckles on the window to get his attention. “Need any help?”

Castiel nearly slammed his door into Dean as he got out of his car. “No thank you. I’ll just call a cab. You can go back inside where you don’t have to talk to me.”

“Cas, please, --“

“Please, what? You tell me you don’t love me—“

“I never said I didn’t love you.”

“—and you don’t want to remember out life together. You tell me you’re leaving. You break my heart. What could you possibly have to say to me?”

Without another word, Castiel turned and began walking away. Dean’s heart skipped a beat as the love of his life walked away from him.

“Castiel, please.”

Cas stopped walking, but didn’t turn back around.

“I may not remember you or the past few years of my life, but I do know this. I know your eyes are the color of the sky in the middle of winter. I know you take your coffee black with three sugars. You aren’t a big fan of movies, but you watch them because you know that I love them. You hate when I leave wet towels on the bathroom floor and prop my feet up on the coffee table. I love being near you, and when we’re apart all I think about is getting back home to you.” 

Dean stepped closer and placed a shaking hand on Cas’s arm. “And I know that I have somehow fallen so deeply in love with you that you’ve ruined me for anyone else. You’re my best friend and my angel; please tell me I haven’t lost my chance.”

Cas turned slowly to face him. His eyes glistened. “You could never lose your chance.”

Dean sighed in relief as Cas came crashing into him. Their arms wound tightly around each other as Dean buried his face in Castiel’s neck. 

Dean never wanted to forget this moment. He breathed in the smell of his beloved and relished in the feel of his warm touch. That smell, it reminded him of something.

“Hey, Cas, are you wearing the cologne I got you for Valentine’s Day?”

“Ya, it’s what I usually wea—“

Cas leaned back to look into Dean’s eyes.

“Dean, do you remember?”

Dean reached forward to place his hand on his lover’s face. “Cas, baby…. how could I ever forget you?”


	9. Epilogue

It was exactly two months later that Dean and Castiel were married. It would have been sooner, but Cas demanded an actual wedding. Dean grumbled and mumbled the entire time, voicing to no one but Sam how happy he was over all of the fuss. The wedding was beautiful, both men in strapping suits with all of their loved ones around them. The next day they headed off to tour China.

Everything was absolutely perfect.

Dean suggested they move into a larger place, maybe even buy a house. But, Castiel insisted that they remain in their little studio for at least a little while longer. Dean agreed but with the condition that they redecorate the place. "It looks too much like two bachelor roommates live here, not an honest to god married couple." Castiel rolled his eyes at that, but agreed none the less.

*****

"Sammy, I thought you said you were gonna come help us move the new furniture?"

Dean was leaning against the moving van with his cell pressed to his ear, a look of annoyance rested on his face.

"Oh, stop making excuses. I taught you how to bullshit, you can't fool me. And I hear Ruby giggling in the background. That woman is a bad influence on you."..........."Fine, forget it, we can do it ourselves. But don't think you're off the hook this easily."

After hanging up and shoving is phone into his pocket with a huff, Dean turned and threw open the truck's door. Soft hands snaked themselves around his middle and he imminently relaxed under the touch.

"Sam's not coming, I take it?" A deep voice whispered under his left ear.

"No, he's not. That little shit."

He felt the chest resting again his back shutter as Cas chuckled. "Relax. If Sam's not here, that gives us more leeway to do some things that would be considered inappropriate if we were not alone.

Dean grinned at the thought. "Well, then, I supposed we need to hurry up and get all of this unloaded."

After moving a couch, a large recliner, a dining room table and countless pillows and lamps up to their apartment, Dean was in a hurry to get finished. He was sweating and his arms were killing him. It didn't help that the bulkier pieces need to be carried up the stairs as they didn't fit in the tiny elevator.

"Turn that end to you left......no, your other left."

Dean was barking orders down at his husband as they were trying to get a large bookshelf up the stairs. Dean was holding one end on the landing above Cas while they tried rounding the corners.

"My end's fine, it keeps getting caught on that corner up there," Castiel yelled back up.

"It is not, you need to angle it more."

"Dean, hold on a minute, I don't have a good grip."

Dean watched with horror as the bookshelf slipped out of both their hands as it and Castiel fell to the floor.

"Oh, god, Cas!" Castiel lay motionless on the landing below with the bookshelf laying on top of him. Dean leaped over the railing and shoved the bookshelf off his husband. Dean lifted the unconscious man enough to place his head on his lap. 

"Cas, baby can you hear me?"

Dean let out a sigh of relief as he was greeted to blue eyes looking up at him.

"Holy shit, Cas, are you alright?"

Those blue eyes looked up at him with confusion.

"Who's Cas?"


End file.
